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I told him to start using 'White Diamonds" by Liz Taylor. That stuff must work great. Look how many times she's been married. All these guys of different ages fell for her. He just says he'll try it but doesn't." How long does his potion last?"Six months. That's why no one seems to stay together very long. He shoots them with an arrow in February, then the couples get married in June. Then by August the marriages start falling apart." Well. Venus, I think he likes Hollywood too much also. He seems to be shooting up a storm there, but none of the marriages last. I think his problem is he doesn't know fantasy from reality. He goes to the studios where they are making films and sees all this love making and shoots arrows at everyone. They all think they are in love and start marrying each other and making babies. After six months the potion wears out and they find they didn't love each other at all. Then they make a new movie and it starts all over again." Good point, Peter. I think. AND you can go twice a day if you want. Where I was, was free, but to just go to an onsen is not expensive.Now, living elsewhere, I have converted my own bathroom into an onsen with sit down washing and an integrated steam room – one really big wet room. No bath though. I had to fly back to Tokyo to get the taps etc, but with 4 washing stations and a glass enclosed steam room, loads of fun with fuck buddies and groups of guys.So – back to my story: At a rural ryokan which was wonderfully relaxing. In the evening, after a fantastic shabu shabu meal with a massive group of staff, I wandered down to the sento. I was the only one there (disappointing), but there was washing stools, a steam room and a soak bath. I was washing when I heard the sliding door open.(As you do), you ignore anyone coming in and keep going with what you’re up to. So, wash, wash,wash…. Then think of soaking. I slipped into the bath and put my towel on my head and closed my eyes. Pondering life. I heard a bloke in.
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‘G’day most cherishied Mr. Bigguns!’ spoke the Scot, ever so loudly, his bushy eyebrows raised in a sprightly, unkempt and altogether friendly way. ‘Sir…’ I said humbly, with but a trace of reticence, my inflamed brain again beginning to rebel against the boisterousness of his demeanor. ‘Aye, I ken see ya’r most unlively this morning by the redness of yer eye, my good friend, by the paleness of yer skin, surely the absinthe from last evenings soiree has taken a toll upon yer frail English body!’ Unsure if he was in jest or not, I replied, politely, ‘Sir, will you do me the honor of entering into my humble abode, for my maidservant is disposed of the moment and I find that I must answers the calling visitor this morning.’ ‘Aye, most cherished, most cherished, certainly my friend, and thank’ee.’ In we came and in taking his coat and staff, I could see the walking pole was capped by a great shining knob, a solid silver rapper atop in the likeness of a woman’s torso, the great mammaries.

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